Dear Everyone

I'm sorry for being such an unreliable friend/family member/citizen the last few weeks/months/years. I have been dealing with health problems that are difficult to talk about for several reasons.

Earlier this year I was diagnosed with Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). Not life-threatening in the traditional sense, but it affects my life every day. These days, my worst symptom is chronic fatigue. Within the past year or so, I have had to cut my work hours in half, quit volunteering, and quit dancing. At this point I am struggling to just make it to work four hours a day. I am seeing an excellent doctor, therapist and nutritionist, but progress is two steps forward and one step back. Some weeks I'm functioning at such a low level that I have to cancel all of my plans, and my energy level is so unpredictable that I often avoid making any to begin with.

So, I'm sorry if I missed your birthday/wedding/major life event. I probably didn't forget. Chances are I had it on my calendar for weeks prior, and then some hugely exhausting task like commuting got in the way. I tend to be all-or-nothing, so I probably opted to disappear completely rather than be flaky. I'm working on that mindset.

I am starting this blog to process my experience in the context of community as a part of recovery. Apparently isolation isn't healthful. I appreciate your support.